Taxi joke

Here's a "rated R" (not for children!) joke that a friend from Croatia forwarded. (izvorna versija na hrvatskom na dnu)

A man arrives at San Francisco airport at the taxi stand and asks the driver:

- How much for a ride to San Jose?

- $100

- But I only have $80!

- Tough luck!

The man thinks for a bit and asks:

- Well, can you take me as far as the $80 will take me?

- Sure

And so they set off.

They drive until they reach Sunnyvale (a couple of miles from San Jose) and the taxi driver says:

- Your $80 takes you exactly here!

- But come on, it's pouring rain outside and it's only a couple more miles!

- Out! the taxi driver says.

A week later the man is at SFO and approaches the taxi stand. This time there are 8 or 9 taxis waiting, with the taxi driver from last week at the end. The man approaches the first driver:

- Here's $100 to get me to San Jose...and another $100 for you to give me a blow job!

- Get the hell away away from me, you pervert! and the taxi driver yells a bunch of insults at him.

The man approaches the second cabbie:

- Here's $100 to get me to San Jose...and another $100 if you give me a blow job!

- (really harsh insults ensue)

And so the same goes through the whole line, until the man approaches the driver from the previous week:

- How much for a ride to San Jose?

- $100, like last week. What, are you going nuts?!

- Listen, here's $100...and here's another $100 if you drive me around here slowly for a little bit and wave at your cabbie friends.

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Došao čovjek u Osijek na taksi stajalište i upita taksistu:

-koliko je vožnja do Djakova?

-sto kuna!

-ali ja imam samo 80!?

-onda ništa.

Razmišlja tip pa kaže:

-a jel ti mene možeš voziti za tih 80 pa dakle dodjemo?

-može.

i tako oni krenu...

Vozili se oni tako kad u kuševcu (par km pred djakovom) kaze taksista:

-tvojih 80 kn ovdje ističu!

-ali pobogu, kiša pljušti a to je još samo par km?!

-van! rece taksista...

Nakon tjedan dana dolazi čovjek opet na taxi stajaliste. ovaj put stoji 8-9 taxija a onaj od prošlog tjedna je zadnji u redu...čovjek ode kod prvog:

-evo ti 100 kn za vožnju do djakova i jos 100 ako mi ga popušiš!!

-mars pederčino!-raspe taksista salvu psovki za njim...

Ode ovaj kod drugog:

-100 kn za vožnju do djakova i jos 100 da mi ga popušiš!

-mamu ti jebem, tata nek ti ga puši...

I tako svi redom dok dodje on do onoga od prošlog tjedna:

-koliko je vožnja do djakova?

-100 kn isto ko i prošli tjedan, sta se praviš lud!?

-čuj, evo ti 100 kn...a evo ti jos 100 da me lijepo polako ovuda provezeš i usput mašeš svojim kolegama...